Queen recently made headlines due to their 1978 hit 'Fat Bottom Girls" being removed from children's audio player Yoto. Daryn Parker, Vice President of streaming porn site CamSoda, saw the song's removal as an opportunity to ask the band if his site could stream the song instead for a cool (and appropriate) $69,000.
Parker addressed his letter to Queen's Brian May and Roger Taylor, saying the move is to "preserve Queen's legacy" now that the song was "removed from a streaming platform." Which sounds like there might be a misunderstanding of how vast the removal was (barely at all), but hey – business is business, and comedy is comedy.
Parker's letter to the band is as follows, and contains plenty of porny puns.
"Dear Mr. May and Mr. Taylor,
"Let me first say this, Queen is one of my greatest treasures and still gives me pleasure. My name is Daryn Parker, VP of adult entertainment leader and webcam platform, CamSoda, and as a fan of rock' n' roll and fat bottoms, we were saddened to hear 'Fat Bottomed Girls' was removed from a streaming platform. To preserve Queen's legacy, especially with 'Fat Bottomed Girls', we are offering you $69,000 for the full rights to the song to play on live cam streams.
"At CamSoda, we firmly believe fat bottomed girls make the rocking world go around – just as you all and Freddie expressed in the song. Every day we have girls of all shapes and sizes flaunting their bottoms for thousands of people via our webcam shows. Should you accept this offer, we will integrate the song throughout our platform. For example, if you're tuning into a webcam show and decide to leave a tip for a 'naughty nanny,' simply hit the tip button and the tune will play. Or when you click on our 'big booty' category of models you'll be serenaded with this timeless tune.
"So, won't you take us home tonight? We'd love to continue to uphold Queen's greatest hits and feel as though this is the perfect opportunity to do so. Rest assured, 'Fat Bottomed Girls' is safe with us. We'll make sure girls' bottoms are always treasured.
"Please reach out to me ASAP at [redacted]. Once aligned, we can get to work on the contract details. I look forward to hearing from you!"
