Well, it's that time of year. That all-seeing, all-knowing fat, jolly bastard is once again on his way – his cookie crumb-dusted, milk-encrusted beard bearing the slammiest of gifts straight-outta Slamta's village.
We have three for ya today, all droppin on January 1st via CDN Records. It's like a fat, disgusting triplet of bearded New Years slam babies, each one sliding right outta yer mom's engorged, stank-filled poop palace! Turkey dinner with all the fixins, anyone?
Anyway, you still got time to add all three of these bad boys to your xmas wish-list… which will probably read something like this:
DEAR SLAMTA CLAUSE,
PLEASE, SLAMTA, I'VE BEEN A GOOD LITTLE SWEEPO-BANGED, DEATHCORE-TURNED-SLAMOPHILE, SCENE-KID. ALL I WANT FOR XMAS ARE THE HOTTEST, DANKEST SLAMS OUT THERE (WHICH YOU CAN PRE-ORDER FOR ME BY CLICKING EACH LINK BELOW)…
BRAIN SPASM
BLASTOMYCOSIS
SLAMOPHILIAC
LOVE YOU, SLAMTA!
-SKIPPY SLAM
There you have it. Poor Skippy doesn't realize the sheer brutality he's in for. Either way, let's tackle each cranium-crushing band on his list one by one…
BRAIN SPASM – TOXIC MONSTROSITIES (2017)
Featuring a dual vocal attack – with one half of that attack comprised of legendary alien/space-drenched slam mastermind Bob Shaw (ex-CUFF, and previously featured on Dank Slams here and here), whose pitchshifted assault makes for the perfect accompaniment to the more traditional gutturals of Matt Hilden (Vestication). Together, entire worlds crumble before them.
If this tag-team of brutality weren't enough, in comes the earthquake-droppin low-end of bassist Chris Sabbath (Human Compost), accompanied by the black hole-inducing, gravity-defying percussion of Geoff Hodsman (Gravitational Distortion). As a whole, they form the mighty Brain Spasm.
The guys just dropped a brand new single via Slam Worldwide. The song, entitled "The Secrets In The Meat", starts off with a sound-byte of Drayton Sawyer (the cook in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2), describing the secret of his family's famous chili. The song quickly jumps into brutally beautiful BDM/goregrind territory…
BLASTOMYCOSIS – COVERED IN FLIES AND AFTERBIRTH (2017)
How gory do you like your gore? How brutal do you like your BSDM (Brutal Slammin Death Metal)? Well, if you can stomach it, have we got the album for you! Said album is entitled "Covered In Flies And Afterbirth", and is delivered to us by Toronto underground death metal extremists Blastomycosis.
Packed to the brim with flies and afterbirth, Blastomycosis had the foresight to balance the brutality with an equally brutal sheen courtesy of Dan Swano over at Unisound Studios. Dan's pro touch serves to amp the carnage of songs, with titles such as "Fucked In Two" and "Amazon Crotch Rot". Just for shits and giggles, let's take a listen to the latter…
SLAMOPHILIAC – PERIHELION (2017)
Slamophiliac, for those not in the know, is the pseudonym of producer and musician Darryn Palmer. Starting out back in 2013 as a joke band, Slamophiliac took a turn for the serious after the label Brutal Gear agreed to release the debut album "Aborted Into Absolute In-Existence". Shortly after, CDN Records picked up Slamophiliac and have released a multitude of slamtastic albums since.
If you are sick-and-bloody-tired of the usual gore-infused tropes found within this sub-genre, this newest of Slamophiliac releases, entitled Perihelion, is certain to take you on a mind-altering trip with its seven highly-abstract, theoretical-filled songs straight from the mind of a true slamtellectual. Sure, it's high-brow… but, not at the expense of sheer brutality!
