Alright, let's be real about this- being a musician is a rough way of life these days. And for a style as specialized and underground as Black Metal, making ends meet can be an even greater struggle. So with that in mind, perhaps we should look at a few alternative career options for our cold, grim, sacrilegious friends who may have fallen on hard times.
Opera Singer
At least you'll still be doing something with music. And hey, opera has quite a bit of "Sturm und Drang" of its own- especially if you end up on a Wagner production. And have endless amounts of time available…to sit through a Wagner production.
Choir Singer
Or, if opera isn't your thing, you could always join a choir. Granted, this would probably fly in the face of your anti-religious fervor, but I do know a guy who's looking for a baritone death-screamer.
Landscaping or Gardening
Or if you should abandon the fine arts all together, you could pursue a career working outside. Sure the sun is a pain in the ass, but these guys look like they're having a great time!
Chef
There's also the culinary arts! And there's few better ways to feel gratified than when a happy customer brings you a bottle of wine…or elk's blood.
Pizza Delivery Boy
Or perhaps your skill-set aims for more contact with the general public. Just try not to eat too much of your own stash- those blood-drenched pies with extra goat meat won't deliver themselves!
Politics
I can see it now: arctic tundra beautification projects, tax write-offs for leather manufacturers, and reparations for pagan families killed during the 12th Century. Though in all seriousness, this option would be kind of terrifying if the NSBM crowd got involved in it (or anything else).
A Cat
At the end of the day, humanity is little more than scum destined for a grim demise into hellish oblivion. So with that in mind, morphing yourself into a cat is a pretty solid career choice. And it includes one of the best benefits packages of all, the adoration of the entire internet! Hell, even we did our own piece on Black Metal cats a couple years ago.
