When Greg Weeks isn't blowing people's minds with his band, The Red Chord, the dude takes some time to answer some of life's important questions, yours! Whether its music, girls of life in general, Greg is always right. Submit your inquiries to [email protected] and Greg will solve all your problems.
my name is anai, i'm mexican/asian girl who is DTF( i guess that means down to fuck..my friends told me to write that) but uhh my question is..will you marry me?or give me some advice to get you to marry me..please consider this question and get back to me as soon as possible..but if your answer is yes..i'm going to steal all of the picks you have and burn them..bassist should never use a pick..and my other question is..when you die can i have your traben? not that i'm hoping your going to die anytime soon..but i'm just saying if you do..soon
-Anai ( rice burrito)
p.s. i love you (like in the creepy stalkerish way) (okay not really..but besides using a pick your pretty good)
Greg's response:
Anai,
I am sorry to hear about your case of DTF. If I were you I would visit the local health clinic and get that checked out. I have spoken to the proper authorities and when I die, soon or not, my bass is yours. Regarding your very flattering question about marrying me my advice would be to get prepared for a series of rigorous challenges. Stage one consists of running the final course in the famous Nickolodeon show Double Dare. Marc Summers will be shouting at you while you try to find orange flags in slime and sundaes all while attempting to beat the clock. Stage two is the fashion stage. You'll have to be judged by Tyra Banks, two gay dudes and a dude pretending to be gay to get chicks. Stage three, we meet and discuss favorite foods, books, music and films. You know, get down to brass tacks and such. If you have passed all these stages then there is only one stage left, convincing my wife that I can have two wives. Good luck with that,
-Greg
Dear Greg,
I'm a 20 year old in the Navy, currently stationed in the middle east, and prior to my joining I used to scream in a band, and I'm trying to figure out a way I can be out here in the desert as well as exploit my heartfelt passion for blowing out peoples ear drums, I've already looked around base for people and so far no dice, so to sum up my question, what do you think would be the most efficient way to be in a band and be over 2000 miles from the US?
Very Respectfully
Zach AcidP.S. Could you please convince the Chief of Naval Operations Admiral Roughead to put out a new regulation that allows the Navy to grow beards?
Greg's response:
Wow. I have no idea how to go about finding people in the desert to make an extreme band with. If you have a passion for music then maybe you can hook up with some guys that don't necessarily play your type of music and start something up. It might do you good to try another form of music and then when you get home you'll have more to bring to the table when you start up an extreme band. As for the beard, you should take a sharpie and draw one on a mirror. Every time you look into the mirror you'll see a bearded maniac ready to rock. Be careful and come home safely,
-Greg
I got cock blocked for the last time this weekend, this soulless cunt decided that her roomate did not need to go home with me and since your the man that knows all, what do I do to stop this madness without getting sent to pound me in the ass prison?
Thanks for your time
Drewski in Colorado
Greg's response:
Here's my advice. It is clear by your question that you have a problem with women. It could've been because you were raised this way or it could also be that you are a closet homosexual. Do you hate "the gays" as well? If so then maybe you should stop a second and take a look inside yourself. Maybe you yourself hate them because you've always wanted to kiss a mans soft pillowy lips. You bury those feelings deep down inside and they turn to hatred towards women and yourself. Another piece of this puzzle is that you want to "stop this madness" by, and I'm just assuming, using violence. Dude, my advice is to just get gay. Throw your face into some sweaty chest hair and get on with your life. You'll be a lot happier letting everyone know who you really are and what you're all about. Get liberated my friend. Hope this helps,
-Greg
Hey Greg, The names Redbeard and i play in a heavy fuckin metal band called CAYM from Toronto, Ontario. Our music is awesome, and our live show is better. We put our hearts and bodies on the line every time we get out on that stage. We have an endorsement from Jagermeister and have made a great name for ourselves in Toronto but we want more. The stage is an addiction for all of us and we want to do this everyday of our lives. My question is, how can we turn this band into a career where we get to do what you do. Tour the fuckin world with the best bands goin. We are so young and have so much material to put out. I'm the writer for this band andI got two albums finished and ready to go, not including the album we already put out. Music is my life brother. I spend all my time playing guitar, and all my money on going to shows (seen you guys 4 times, fuckin amazing). Can u please help me any way you can. Thanks brother
HORNS UP!!!!!! REDBEARD
Greg's response:
Mr. Redbeard,
Being a Jager band does have its perks. We played with one every day on last years Mayhem tour. Tearing it up in your area is also rock n' roll. What you need to do now is focus on the rest of the world. The only reason my band does what it does is because we have given up living like normal human beings. You have to be willing to give up relationships, sleep, money and food. Also, there is no real money in the selling of music so just give your music away online. Focus on contacting bigger bands to try to get on shows and make your live show amazing. Create some amazing merch and that can pay for your gas to get from show to show. At one point you'll be able to tour the world but until then get on any show possible and try to focus on leaving your area. Have fun,
-Greg
Hey Greg, my name is Ryan from Wayland, Ma (Go Sox!). I love TRC and I have one quick question.
I've been playing bass for a little over a year and I can hold my own while jamming. I want to be in a band that aspires for success, but nobody other than me is serious about making time for the band. What should I do? Should I try to whip my band members into submission? Should I grow a sweetass beard? Should I look for new bandmates who are actually serious?
Thanks for the consideration,
Ryan from Wayland, MA
Greg's response:
Ryan,
At the time of this writing the Yanks are 3 games behind. Go Sox indeed. If those guys are not serious, missing practice, not practicing on their own time, then fuck 'em. Go to other towns and join bands. Join as many bands as you can find. One of them will have to be filled with at least some musicians that are serious. Every band has a couple members that just float on by while everyone else does the work but you can eventually replace them. Go find some people. No dead weight!!!
-Greg
so, my band Hey It's Not Franklin is just getting started, and we're not exactly old enough to work, so we're a little low on money, and are having a tough time gettin? any advice would be great!
Greg's response:
Hey It's Not Franklin member,
You're band name is "Hey It's Not Franklin"? Seriously? Where have all the good band names gone? Is that like an inside joke with your friends at school. First piece of advice, change the name. Secondly, you can easily record great quality demos on your computer, if you have one. Somehow get a copy of EZ Drummer and a cheap interphase and you're all set. Until you crazy kids start working and have enough dough for real studio just do it yourself. Lastly, don't change the name. If you start changing who you are to please assholes like me then you'll just end up being some shitty shell of a band you used to be. GO!
-Greg
About to do something regrettable but need that extra push? You can get advice from Greg Weeks. Just email [email protected]
