Vulvodynia fired their vocalist Duncan Bentley over the weekend after allegations of him trying to kill drummer Tom Hughes surfaced. Hughes has since checked in with the metal world, saying he's doing alright and hopes that Bentley can get the help that he needs.
Now Bentley has issued his own statement. In a lengthy post, Bentley apologized to Hughes but denied ever trying to kill him. Bentley added that his anger with the band stemmed from a misuse of funds, and that this wasn't the first time he and Hughes got into an altercation. Bentley also claims that Vulvodynia is assassinating his character as a person, that there have been death threats to his friends and family in the wake of these allegations, and that he hopes to be friends with his now-former bandmates sometime in the future.
"Hey everyone, I'm writing this to you all today with a heavy heart. There's no easy way to talk about what happened recently, but it's important that I do. I've been silent until now because I was stranded without means to communicate, and I wanted to get medically checked out before addressing what happened.
"First up, I owe the band, our crew, and Tom an apology. An apology seems so small in the face of what happened, but I need to offer it. I'm so sorry for what happened in Prague. We've shared so many stages, so many good times, and I never wanted our story to end on a night like that. I regret that our disagreement turned physical, and I take full responsibility for my part in it…"
"To clear up any misconceptions, I want everyone to know that I've been sober since March 30th. I never 'tried to kill' Tom like all the headlines are saying… The reason our argument started that night was because I was wrongly accused of drinking while I was actually sober, taking care of my bandmates, who were themselves drinking. The frustration of seeing our hard-earned band funds being used on drinks, drugs, lapdances etc and then being accused of drinking myself when I was merely tired, escalated an already existing tension. The misuse of funds had been a recurring event since the band bank account was put in Tom's name.
"This isn't the first time that Tom and I have had a physical altercation. On our third European tour, Tom choked me out after pulling out of our tour van during a heated argument, leaving me feeling betrayed and hurt. Then, in the Philippines, I attacked him in a drunken rage after not having slept properly and having to deal with grief from the death of a family member. I'm not proud of these incidents, and they are not excuses for my behavior. But I do want to make it clear that these were isolated events and that Tom and I have had many positive experiences together as friends and bandmates.
"I must ask you all though, if you were in our shoes and witnessed two bandmates fighting, wouldn't you try to help both parties involved? Just because Tom's external injuries were more visible doesn't mean that I wasn't also injured and in need of support. It's a devastating experience to be abandoned by the people you considered your family for so long…
"That being said, I did end up with injuries–broken ribs and a concussion among them–and was left alone in an unfamiliar city with no phone and no means of contacting home, which really left me in a tough spot. The R5000 sent to me by the band barely covered anything as my travel costs and medical bills came to well over R15000/$1000 which I had to borrow from family as I was not able to change my flight. I'm not saying this to play the victim but to add a piece of the story that wasn't shared.
"I've never felt this level of heartbreak. Losing everything you've worked for, everything you love in a moment, is a pain I wouldn't wish on anyone. That moment, being pinned by the police against a wall, begging my bandmates for help through my tears, will stay with me forever. Abandoned, blocked and written off by my closest brothers… it's a pain that words can't fully capture…
"It's disheartening to see my former bandmates resorting to name-calling and character assassination in an attempt to silence my side of the story. Their accusations of me being a 'manipulator, psychopath, and compulsive liar' are not only baseless but also a clear indication of how far they're willing to go to snuff my voice and justify their actions. I urge everyone to take a step back and evaluate the situation from all angles before jumping to conclusions or making hasty judgments…
"There have been multiple death threats sent to my wife, family, and friends since the post made by the band. I'm begging you, please stop. They are innocent in all of this and don't deserve that at all. My wife has been receiving death threats in another city, and it's been weeks since I've seen her. This has been weighing heavily on me…
"Reading the terrible things being said about me and my family has been gut-wrenching. I've thought about giving up, but I won't. I'm committed to becoming a better person-for my family, for our fans, and for myself.
"I currently face the hardest decision of my life: do I stand back and let the band, a name I started and worked so hard for, be taken from me? Or do I fight for the sliver of hope I have left? This band is my entire life and I have worked so extremely hard to get it to where it currently is. We were heading towards our ten-year anniversary next year, a milestone I dreamed of reaching all my life, before this unfortunate night…
"It is extremely upsetting that this incident was not sorted out between both parties before posts and accusations were made – especially since I, too, was injured.
"I honestly wish I had never gone out with them that night…
"I'll be stepping back from social media and music to focus on my mental health. I need some time to work on myself, getting the help I need to figure out my problems and how to deal with them. The days ahead will be challenging, but I am committed to bettering my life, learning from my mistakes and growing from this experience that will haunt me forever. It's my hope that, in time, I can regain your trust and respect.
"Thanks to everyone for your understanding and patience as I work through this hectic period in my life. I am grateful for those who have shown me kindness and support during this time when no one else has.
"In closing, I want to extend my deepest apologies once again to Tom, the band, our fans, all of our associates, and everyone this situation has affected. I am truly sorry for the hurt that I have caused and I promise to make you all proud of me once more. Hopefully one day we can put aside this horrific incident and hang out as friends again. I still love you all so much, you'll always be my bros.
"Take care, stay safe, and remember to be kind to each other. Things happen so quickly."
