We've all seen some long, silly and pointless band names in our time as metal fans. There's Mexico's Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis, Germany's We Butter The Bread With Butter, Japan's Flagitious Idiosyncrasy In The Dilapidation, etc. the list goes on and on, each one just as mind-numbingly silly as the next. Now we've got a certain band from Minsk who has all the previous contenders topped. A band named, or muttered during an epileptic fit, Eximperituserqethhzebibšiptugakkathšulweliarzaxułum.
The band will henceforth be known as Eximperitus for the rest of this article.
You can see Eximperitus's debut album artwork above, and no- it isn't self titled. See that blue streak in the background arcing over everything? That's the name… and it's Pierasiakajučy Swiatlieńnie J Zmrok Dziewiaci Miraŭ Spustašęnnia Čatyroch Wymiaręńniaŭ Času J Prastoru, Spiralliu Skroź Niewiadomuju Biaskoncasć Daliokaha Kosmasu Prazrystaje Sonca Wosieni Zachodzić U Zienit Astraĺnaj Prajekcyi Kručęńnia Transcęndęntaĺnych Staŭpoŭ Swojeasabliwaści Płoskaści Analizu Niepachisnaści Iściny‘ and ‘Pašyrajučy Spiektr Suzirańnia Ękstrapaliarnaha Kantynuumu Praz Sakraĺnaje Admaŭlieńnie Tliennaje Ręčaisnaści Naciažęńnie Ęnierhietyčnych Niciej Pranizliwych Prastor Wakuumu Adukawanaha Zastoju, Skroź Pryzmu Časoŭ Dęmatęryalizuje Katęharyčny Impieratyŭ Jak Iliuzornaje Stwaręńnie Bačnasci Ruchu Pa Spirali Žyccia’. Now they’ve announced their debut album titled Prajecyrujučy Sinhuliarnaje Wypramieńwańnie Daktryny Absaliutnaha J Usiopahłynaĺnaha Zła Skroź Šaścihrannuju Pryzmu Sîn-Ahhī-Erība Na Hipierpawierchniu Zadyjakaĺnaha Kaŭčęha Zasnawaĺnikaŭ Kosmatęchničnaha Ordęna Palieakantakta, Najstaražytnyja Ipastasi Dawosiewych Cywilizacyj Prywodziać U Ruch Ręzanansny Transfarmatar Časowapadobnaj Biaskoncaści Budučyni U Ćwiardyniach Absierwatoryi Nwn-Hu-Kek-Amon, Uwasabliajučy Ŭ Ęfirnuju Matęryju Prach Ałulima Na Zachad Ad Ękzapłaniety PSRB 1620-26b.
Catchy! If you haven't already translated it yourself upon first read, it means Projecting the singular emission ov the Doctrine ov Absolute and All-Absorbing Evil through the hexahedral prism ov Sîn-Ahhī-Erība upon the hypersurface ov zodiacal arc ov the cosmotechnical order ov paleocontact founders the utterly ancient hypostases ov pre-axes civilizations actuate the resonance transformer ov temporally similar to the eternity ov the future in the towers ov Nwn-Hu-Kek-Amon’s obcervatory embodying the ashes ov Alulim into the ethereal matter to the west ov exoplanet PSRB 1620-26b.
Somehow I don't think anyone is ever going to be referring to Eximperitus by its real name, or at least anywhere where copy-and-paste is not readily available. My question about the name is why, outside the obvious "let's get out 15 minutes of fame." Why make it so difficult to search for your band that most would probably just give up after a few tries?
Also, Eximperitus sounds exactly like you'd expect it to sound. Check out the group's 2013 Promo right here and anxiously await the new album to come later on this year! On the plus side, if you're ever bored at work you can watch the album name scroll by on your iPod for probably around an hour before it makes a full rotation.
[via MetalSucks]
