By Ben Apatoff
Music enthusiasts may know ATTILA as a terrible psychedelic rock band from the late '60s. They're deservedly absent from most people's minds, and remembered only (if at all) because their organ player was BILLY JOEL. Allmusic.com describes the band's one record as "undoubtedly is the worst album released in the history of rock & roll — hell, the history of recorded music itself." Maybe so, but I can't imagine that it's worse than Rage, the new album by an Atlanta metal act that shares the name of Mr. Joel's old band.
Attila's MySpace page describes them as "party-death metal," but unless your idea of a party is what sounds like everyone who kicked out of WINDS OF PLAGUE (minus the keyboardists) forming their own band, steer clear. The melodies and playing sound like third-rate contestants in a "Win a spot on Ozzfest's second stage" contest. But the generic music can't compete in the mix with an intrusively bad singer. The vocals consist of cookie monster growls, FRED DURST-esque wails and DISTRUBED-worthy "ah-ah-ahs," sung by some guy who never tires of reminding you how much he doesn't give a fuck, numerous times, in those exact words in both "Make it Sick" and "Rage." By the time the sample of a guy throwing up at the end of "Strikeout" kicks in, at least you'll have someone to relate to. Ah well. Maybe we'll get a megastar pianist out of them.
Rating: 1 Hun out of 5
