By: Navjot Kaur
From the metalhead to the Gaga-worshipper (or those folks who fall into the area in between), there’s something instantly "alluring" and straight ridiculous about coming across a band called Danny Tanner. Couple that squeaky clean Full-House nostalgia with a cave-man, Bigfoot, and a bloody pirate phantom on the bloody, gored out album cover of the band’s 2010-released The Never Ending Process, and you’re just asking me to be all-ears (excuse the pun; you’ll see how the listening inspired the cheese) on how you could possibly put those all together.
There’s a jazzy kickoff in “Boris the Crusher,” which brings us into the tarry pit of cookie monster growls, metronomous blast-beats and somehow pleasantly out-of-synch, slippery riffs that can’t help but make you wonder if these guys threw themselves in a 10’ x 5’ studio and recorded a bunch of drunk jams. The tracks are completely unpolished, ending unexpectedly and sometimes lasting as short as 22 seconds (a nice grindcore trademark), with “The Sword I Wield” providing a short snippet of low-fi br00tal tunes in a manner that’ll leave you just as confused as amused. The entire record seems to amplify that strange combination of “what the hell is this?” – driven home with the equally strange track titles, with “Ye Olde Kilt Tilter” and “In the Castle of 3D Glasses” to heighten that effect– with the familiar infusions of over-the-top death metal elements.
Still, with such rather “enigmatic” track titles to the profane momma-baby exchange in the beginning of “Drown in the Obsidian,” all the way through to the complete jazz that kicks in bipolarly in “Oh, There Will be Bodybags,” it seems Danny Tanner (please remove the image of chest-high pants, cheeky grin, and flannel shirt-clad 90’s padre from your mind, right about: now) is out on a mission. Musical intent? It seems these Jersey-based grind kids are out to stuff the condiments of all things cliché in death metal, mix it in a blender with punk-type riffage, blast-beats on steroids and stuff it all into a gory metal sandwich. If you can appreciate a bit of humor in your morning, evening, gastrointestinal cup of grind (or just ain't a morning person, and need some background music to get your hangover puke on) – check out this band.
